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28/07/08 Pathologising Health--You May Not Believe This!!!
It's been rainy, cloudy or cool so many days that I can hardly believe I live in Toronto. It's been a grim summer, with only a few bright spots, most of them involving Nigel or escapes from politicized health care situations, or new tech developments. Soon the Film Festival will be here and that will be exciting.
I need to write about a part of the Canadian Health care system that is now dominated by left wing feminists, and is extremely destructive. It's going to be difficult to write about it because, I am still hoping against hope that it is an isolated situation and I have no desire to punish the people responsible, although it's a temptation it is often necessary for me to suppress. I would be no better than the perpetrators should I give in. I can't help being furious.
Has anybody noticed? There are women...and then there are women:)) Most of the women I know, even the women I am acquainted with, THINK. New trends, new ways of thinking, fads, standards propagated by the media are examined (sometimes only briefly, sometimes exhaustively,) so that these women can test their validity within the context of their lives.
Tradition and convention are not their enemy--nice basic framework when it works, they diverge, when it suits them --when it is wise.
Others conform to perceived authority without a thought: Professors, boyfriends, husbands, doctors, bosses, internet information--well not often that they are almost invariable techno-phobes-- books...well you name it. Sometimes I think they are merely oblivious that there is another way...but I often understand that this can't be so...they think of themselves as rebels, whilst they can demonstrated to be shown to be destroying their their bodies, minds and relationships by following the left wing feminist prescriptions. They have the right. I hope they are happy.
Since my it is my health my body and my mind and my long term welfare at issue opinions regarding my life and health trump theirs. They may as well have been deaf, although they are decidedly less healthy than I and I kept falling ill and having to go to other male doctors, to be nearly instantly healed.
Sometime in the future I will reveal my age, the results of health tests, post a semi nude dove soap style photo of myself and photos and descriptions of the health of my grandmothers because I am walking proof that my decisions have been right for me. The argument has been that my efforts have meant nothing--it is all in the genes. To know it really does help to take care of one's self may help some people.
Staying healthy is really really easy. I've been demoralized because of my recent experience. Stopped doing all those little things--it shows, I feel it. I've started back.
My healthy appearance and tests were being used against me...we need to find out what is wrong with you that your bones are years younger than your chronological age, that your blood pressure is as as low as a healthy teenager's, that your weight and height are perfect according to insurance actuary accounts, that your skin is too white and not sun damaged. It's not normal! You must be sick.
I could get sick in the future I guess--sometimes it just happens no mater what you do...but for now I'm not.
This is getting long so I'll stop now and continue with the story later, you might be able to protect yourself.
It's been rainy, cloudy or cool so many days that I can hardly believe I live in Toronto. It's been a grim summer, with only a few bright spots, most of them involving Nigel or escapes from politicized health care situations, or new tech developments. Soon the Film Festival will be here and that will be exciting.
I need to write about a part of the Canadian Health care system that is now dominated by left wing feminists, and is extremely destructive. It's going to be difficult to write about it because, I am still hoping against hope that it is an isolated situation and I have no desire to punish the people responsible, although it's a temptation it is often necessary for me to suppress. I would be no better than the perpetrators should I give in. I can't help being furious.
Has anybody noticed? There are women...and then there are women:)) Most of the women I know, even the women I am acquainted with, THINK. New trends, new ways of thinking, fads, standards propagated by the media are examined (sometimes only briefly, sometimes exhaustively,) so that these women can test their validity within the context of their lives.
Tradition and convention are not their enemy--nice basic framework when it works, they diverge, when it suits them --when it is wise.
Others conform to perceived authority without a thought: Professors, boyfriends, husbands, doctors, bosses, internet information--well not often that they are almost invariable techno-phobes-- books...well you name it. Sometimes I think they are merely oblivious that there is another way...but I often understand that this can't be so...they think of themselves as rebels, whilst they can demonstrated to be shown to be destroying their their bodies, minds and relationships by following the left wing feminist prescriptions. They have the right. I hope they are happy.
Since my it is my health my body and my mind and my long term welfare at issue opinions regarding my life and health trump theirs. They may as well have been deaf, although they are decidedly less healthy than I and I kept falling ill and having to go to other male doctors, to be nearly instantly healed.
Sometime in the future I will reveal my age, the results of health tests, post a semi nude dove soap style photo of myself and photos and descriptions of the health of my grandmothers because I am walking proof that my decisions have been right for me. The argument has been that my efforts have meant nothing--it is all in the genes. To know it really does help to take care of one's self may help some people.
Staying healthy is really really easy. I've been demoralized because of my recent experience. Stopped doing all those little things--it shows, I feel it. I've started back.
My healthy appearance and tests were being used against me...we need to find out what is wrong with you that your bones are years younger than your chronological age, that your blood pressure is as as low as a healthy teenager's, that your weight and height are perfect according to insurance actuary accounts, that your skin is too white and not sun damaged. It's not normal! You must be sick.
I could get sick in the future I guess--sometimes it just happens no mater what you do...but for now I'm not.
This is getting long so I'll stop now and continue with the story later, you might be able to protect yourself.
28/07 01:23:03
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Life gets just plian messy, crises following one upon another. It is all I can do to keep on top of it all. For the two weeks before the Film Festival started I was depressed for the first time in years--or was I just psychlogically worn out.
The Film Festival seemed to kick start me again:)) My Mum has been seriously ill, nearly relentlessly since wintertime. There are so many differnt serious things wrong with her that we often wonder if we will lose her. Several weeks ago she fell and broke a hip. A metal plate has been put into her hip and if she were not so weak from other ailments, kidney failure, stroke alot of little things she might be up and about right now.
I am fairly certain she will be fine in the end since it is so dammned hard to kill a Mulvey and she has half Mulvey genes. We are stubborn circumspect usually and physically very strong no matter how frail we may look.
My condo flooded repeatedly last winter and since the tradesmen were doing asuch a shoddy job with repairs I decided I would do them myself and paint and redecorate a li6ttle while I was at it.
I had justt begun when I developed a terrible repetive stress injuries in my shoulders.
The physiotherapy people at the University Athletic centre are pretty amazing. I recently found out for sure I will recover fully without surgery...but until I knew I was devasted. I pride myself for my independence and I thought one of the most importsnt things about me had vanished forever.
Meanwhile walls remained half painted, flooring and carpet half torn up and furniture in dissarray so that it is hard to find a place to walk in here.
Nigel will help but I refuse to let him do anything I can do myself and when I am not injured that is nearly everything. This is my place, my responsiibility and I like it that way.
I am anxiousl awaited the original copy of my birth certificate so that I can get my EU passport. Toronto is becoming so " Americanized it's not fit to live in. So long as the current government is in and they may stay in even though we are on are third election in four years, we will be not much more than greedy savages.
The Film Festival seemed to kick start me again:)) My Mum has been seriously ill, nearly relentlessly since wintertime. There are so many differnt serious things wrong with her that we often wonder if we will lose her. Several weeks ago she fell and broke a hip. A metal plate has been put into her hip and if she were not so weak from other ailments, kidney failure, stroke alot of little things she might be up and about right now.
I am fairly certain she will be fine in the end since it is so dammned hard to kill a Mulvey and she has half Mulvey genes. We are stubborn circumspect usually and physically very strong no matter how frail we may look.
My condo flooded repeatedly last winter and since the tradesmen were doing asuch a shoddy job with repairs I decided I would do them myself and paint and redecorate a li6ttle while I was at it.
I had justt begun when I developed a terrible repetive stress injuries in my shoulders.
The physiotherapy people at the University Athletic centre are pretty amazing. I recently found out for sure I will recover fully without surgery...but until I knew I was devasted. I pride myself for my independence and I thought one of the most importsnt things about me had vanished forever.
Meanwhile walls remained half painted, flooring and carpet half torn up and furniture in dissarray so that it is hard to find a place to walk in here.
Nigel will help but I refuse to let him do anything I can do myself and when I am not injured that is nearly everything. This is my place, my responsiibility and I like it that way.
I am anxiousl awaited the original copy of my birth certificate so that I can get my EU passport. Toronto is becoming so " Americanized it's not fit to live in. So long as the current government is in and they may stay in even though we are on are third election in four years, we will be not much more than greedy savages.
14/09 05:01:25
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I live in an enclave of the city that contains a lot of people who are socially conscious and responsible...we vote NDP (from an American point of view this would be far left) even though most of us come from privileged backgrounds or circumstances. ...I never thought I would be ashamed to say I am a Canadian, but I am ashamed, we are abandoning all the qualities that made us good. Falling down on the job, re pollution, peace keeping, foreign assistance, culture. Our own people are hurting so that the rich can get richer--it's the American way.
Things could turn around, but I wont' feel secure until I have that red Passport in my hand and British citizenship. I thank God I have the option.
There are some fabulous Americans, I speak with them through work. Californians and west coasters may as well be Canadians, people on the Eastern Seaboard are like we were too. and sprinkled through the mid west there are decent Americans too. But most Americans have a deep-rooted belief that the playing field of the world is totally level for everyone in it and the unfortunate get what they deserve and that just isn't true--it's savage. The also believe their way is the aonly acceptable way and theso they try to force it on the rest of the world. Why are they surprised when they fail. Maybe they aren't surprised because they cannot even see that they have failed.
There are so many better things to write about, all the little Vespas lining the streets of this part of town, The gardens around our building that flourished because we had so much rain this summer, the music made by people from all different cultures that wafts through the streets, considering that white is a visible minority in most parts of the city we are all getting along well. The city is enriched by the diversity.
My Shoulders feel like they are almost better. soon I will be able to go back into the pool, my outlook will change, things will move ahead, my mother will get better? I hope so--she is so fine, and there is so much that she is that I need to learn from her for my life to be complete. I do not want her to suffer though...if that is what it is going to be...
Nigel says he will stay forever, but what if I can't and I betray him once again? I am hard on my men, I never truly let them in, and I unlist my number and hide this site, because I am tired with the calls or e-mails that seem to have the underlying assumption that these long forgotten men have wounded me or mistreated me (sometimes they have) and that I might have been distressed for more than the few weeks it took to forget.
Or sometimes I can leave forever because a set of circumstances or a string of words remind me of troubles long in the past and I will not abide trouble.
...but Nigel has been in and out of the scene of my life for nearly fourteen years now, he's never tried to hurt me...
need to sleep and figure out a good way to display the Hart House Farm phots. We really need to go back, because some of them are ALMOST very good and we could redo those and get them perfect.
Things could turn around, but I wont' feel secure until I have that red Passport in my hand and British citizenship. I thank God I have the option.
There are some fabulous Americans, I speak with them through work. Californians and west coasters may as well be Canadians, people on the Eastern Seaboard are like we were too. and sprinkled through the mid west there are decent Americans too. But most Americans have a deep-rooted belief that the playing field of the world is totally level for everyone in it and the unfortunate get what they deserve and that just isn't true--it's savage. The also believe their way is the aonly acceptable way and theso they try to force it on the rest of the world. Why are they surprised when they fail. Maybe they aren't surprised because they cannot even see that they have failed.
There are so many better things to write about, all the little Vespas lining the streets of this part of town, The gardens around our building that flourished because we had so much rain this summer, the music made by people from all different cultures that wafts through the streets, considering that white is a visible minority in most parts of the city we are all getting along well. The city is enriched by the diversity.
My Shoulders feel like they are almost better. soon I will be able to go back into the pool, my outlook will change, things will move ahead, my mother will get better? I hope so--she is so fine, and there is so much that she is that I need to learn from her for my life to be complete. I do not want her to suffer though...if that is what it is going to be...
Nigel says he will stay forever, but what if I can't and I betray him once again? I am hard on my men, I never truly let them in, and I unlist my number and hide this site, because I am tired with the calls or e-mails that seem to have the underlying assumption that these long forgotten men have wounded me or mistreated me (sometimes they have) and that I might have been distressed for more than the few weeks it took to forget.
Or sometimes I can leave forever because a set of circumstances or a string of words remind me of troubles long in the past and I will not abide trouble.
...but Nigel has been in and out of the scene of my life for nearly fourteen years now, he's never tried to hurt me...
need to sleep and figure out a good way to display the Hart House Farm phots. We really need to go back, because some of them are ALMOST very good and we could redo those and get them perfect.
14/09 05:01:55
22/06: Starting a Journal or Diary-- most recent entries at the bottom
I've been considering doing on online journal or diary. There's a constant running dialogue in the back of my mind. I am not at all happy with the world at the moment. It's obvious that I can't be the only one. The question is whether I have any worthwhile or even unusual insights to offer. I used to have more time to consider. I used to be more 'in the world' even though on cam I appeared to be decidedly out of the world. Now I turn on MTV and hear my thoughts, even though I am totally out of touch. I also see thoughts and ideas I had years ago on serious news/interview shows, but I'm quite sure that won't happen with the thoughts I am having now....but maybe people might want to know that they are not alone with their ideas...with the ideas that are too bleak for cocktail talk or discussion with acquaintances. Maybe they might want to add or put me straight.
I've been thinking of doing an online journal, to let that running dialogue ( out of my head so I can concentrate on the every day. I am always arguing pros and cons with myself)
I will definitely do it. Probably 2 or 3 times a week, until it dries up. I think I won't censor it. Maybe I will just write anything.
Today I was thinking of several things: ...at 1million new people every four days, we certainly do not need any more people. The people who are saying the earth can sustain us, and we her, if we live medievally, or retro-fit, or conserve, are wrong. I was thinking that the drastic backslide re women's rights that is demonstrated by the objectification of them, sex, and sometimes even men, has much to do with the fact that procreation isn't helping the world anymore.
Another thing I thought is that the earth will balance itself even if it has to take humans out of the mix to do it. Most of our medical and technological pursuits and advances have been efforts to stop the earth from doing just that.
Alvin Toffler wrote years ago that if we packed too many people into too little space as is happening as major cities 'urbanize' there will be inevitable violence. It's starting to happen in Toronto now--globalization doesn't seem to have much to do with it (although I am aware the culture mixing in many major cities is having serious repercussions).
We have too too too many people in the world. I decided when I was very young that I was not going to make any new people--full stop...although I briefly reconsidered it several years ago and decided it would be a self-indulgence. If I leave anything or anybody to posterity it is most likely to be just a word here or there that I have said to the right person at the right time in the real world--a word that made a moment a little brighter or gave hope when it was waning.
There are people who are feeling they are being pushed out of the world because people from some cultures procreate at a wild pace and people from their own cultures don't. I have said to them (I really have said to them:))) what difference does it make when the thing that they do will lead to the complete and utter destruction of the world...that is, if you think this is a game or a competition you are wrong, because there is no way to win. (Short of a wide spread and long lasting plague:))
I am normally an optimist and I am not feeling depressed per se, so if I am thinking this way, there is a good chance things are a great deal grimmer than even I know.
Women need to step up. This site has very few female viewers or readers so I know my message will not be heard. We need to refuse to reproduce and insist on taking our place among men on equal footing. I emphatically do not mean that we should become blue stockinged spinsters, or heterosexual 'dykes'.
There is no real psychological imperative to have children (or rather I should say that for me and for many women I have spoken with, it was silenced by the understanding that social conditions were not conducive to child bearing.) Men too frequently do not stay to raise their children and there are social reasons for this for which they can not be blamed. Women pay far to high a price looking after children that over-tax the resources of the world--children that appear to be so little valued (except in privileged circumstances) that they are neglected, abused, starved and left to wither like unpicked fruit on a vine. There is little help for women who need to raise children by themselves and extended 'families' of educationally and financially marginalized women are not the answer.
The world is looking like Babylon or the Roman Empire in decline...and maybe we should just flatten it and start afresh...I am fairly sure there is no way to stop it. We needed to have started at least 30 years ago.
A thing that I have noticed is that enduring and trusting relationships between men and women develop and are sustained more easily when children are out of the mix. The best friends/lovers/cohorts in life forever (fairytale...no!) ideal--can be, is in fact, real, but it seems to happen when two people are self-sustaining in their own right and chose to be together, not because they need to (in ANY way) but because they want to.
Maybe at this stage of the world (sic) we should concentrate on that...and perhaps, as is happening in Germany, China and I am sure many other countries, creating homes, offices, and vehicles that neither take anything from the earth or dump anything back.
Maybe the only reason we have too many people is because women believe it is the only way to validate themselves and men require their surname to survive. There are so many people right now that all of that will be irrevocably lost in the chaos. Good thing I say--in these circumstances children are mere manifestations of ego in the worst sense of the word ego.
Never mind as the world becomes more toxic we will lose the ability to procreate. It is happening already.
I have written straight into the text box again--I hope I don't regret it. I hardly ever do:)) :))